Last updated Feb 19, 2025

Gray Divorce: what you need to know about long-term marriage and divorce

Recently there has been an upward trendย connectingย long-term marriageย and divorce, known asย โ€œgray divorceโ€:ย these areย divorces of couples over 50 years old who have been married over 20 years.โ€ฏThe reasons vary. It may be due to an increase in life expectancy or a desire for financial independence.โ€ฏWhatever the cause, the fact that it is happening is undeniable.โ€ฏThere are special considerations to think about in a gray divorce.

What Happens to Retirement Funds in Gray Divorce?

Divorcing closer to retirementย (or divorce after retirement)ย can result in a less comfortable retirement for each spouse. Depending on your unique circumstances, a divorce may result in the option to delay retirement, increase your retirement savings or retire with a different lifestyle than originally planned.โ€ฏIt is important to have a team that includes a knowledgeable divorce attorney and a strong financial planner on your side.

How Does Divorce Affectย Social Securityย Benefits?

In some cases, a spouse is entitled to benefits based on hisย orย her spouseโ€™sย Socialย Security, depending on the duration of the marriage and each spouseโ€™s income. Sometimes, getting remarried will stop any spousalย Socialย Security benefits.โ€ฏConsider talking to a financial planner to determine your rights as an ex-spouse as it relates to Social Security.

Income and Spousal Supportย After Divorce

When a marriage ends, especially a long-term marriage, there are many issues surrounding income to consider. Some questions to consider:ย How to maintain your lifestyle after divorce? Will you need to go back to work? Will you have toย payย or will you get spousal support (alimony)?

For more information about spousal support (also known as alimony), click here.

Life Insurance and Divorce Settlements

In any divorce, the age of the spouses requires careful considerationย when it comes toย issues regarding life insurance, but also health insurance. This includes each personโ€™s ability to afford and obtain or maintain health insurance. You should discuss these issues with a knowledgeable financial planner and experienced divorce attorney.

How To Divide Assets in a Gray Divorce?

Divorces from a long-term marriage may involve more significant and/or more unique assets. The division of the property, both marital property and separate property, will be subject to several considerations unique to a long-term marriage.โ€ฏFor more information about identifying marital property, click here.

Legalย Competence and Divorce

As people get older, there is an increased chance that competency may be an issue affecting that personโ€™s ability to represent their own best interests. In such a situation, an attorney or the court may wish to have competency confirmed and take measures to protect the rights of a party who is found not competent.

Divorce andย Estate Planning

Estate planning for divorced persons may require special considerations.ย Updating your estate planningย duringย divorce,ย as well asย after divorce,ย is strongly advised, as well as planning for the provisions and costs of long-term medical care, should it be required.

Donโ€™t go it alone.โ€ฏHave a consult with one of our Omaha divorce attorneys to discuss the unique circumstances of your case.


This article should not be construed as legal advice. Situations are different and itโ€™s impossible to provide legal advice for every situation without knowing the individual facts.ย 


If you need help with your divorce case, contact Hightower Reff Law today and come visit with one of the attorneys at our Omaha office.ย 

Tracy Hightower-Henne

About the Author

Tracy Hightower-Henne

Tracy Hightower-Henne is a founding partner of Hightower Reff Law in Omaha with 16 years of legal experience. She specializes in family law, divorce, mediation, surrogacy, child support, child custody, asset and property division, as well as collaborative and uncontested divorce. Before founding the firm, she worked as a legal associate at Union Pacific Railroad and worked in the corporate tax world.

She is certified in Basic Mediation and Family Law Mediations by the Office of Dispute Resolution, a certified Collaborative Divorce Attorney, a member of the Heartland Womenโ€™s Network, and a member of the Nebraska Academy of Collaborative Professionals.

Additionally, Tracy currently sits on the Planned Parenthood Advocates of Nebraska Board and has a passion for supporting young professionals and women in business. Tracy was awarded the 40 Under 40 award by the Midlandโ€™s Business Journal in 2018 and in 2021, earned the Ten Outstanding Young Omahans (TOYO) award.

Tracy graduated from the Thomas. Cooley School of Law with her Juris Doctor in 2007 after earning her Bachelor of Science degree in Business Administration from Doane University. Additionally, she is a 2017 graduate of the Nebraska State Bar Association Leadership Academy and the New Leaders Council. When sheโ€™s not practicing law, Tracy loves reading a book on her deck and scuba diving with marine life.

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